What The FBI Found In Trump’s Safe/Home

Many of you have submitted things on your list, so here is mine. S

1. the location of Jimmy Hoffa’s body
   2. Trump’s little black book, listing all of the pussies he has grabbed
   3. A baggie containing 10g of cocaine (that explains a lot)
   4. a copy of Obama’s actual birth certificate
   5. a copy of a book “The Fifth Amendment is Your Friend,” recently read
   6. the secret recipe for Coca-Cola so that if they go out of business, he can get it made (Diet version, of course).
   7. X-rays of his heel spurs, annotated with another person’s name
   8. Boxes of his Trump brand ties he “put away” in case they ever became popular
   9. the first dollar he ever cheated anyone out of
   10. A set of posters of Hitler rallies from the 1930s with Trump’s head photoshopped over Hitler’s head, sent to him as gifts.
   11. Copies of nondisclosure agreements with dozens of women describing payments to porn stars for sex, and settlement payments to Trump staff and contractors for sexual harassment
   12. A presidential pardon filled out and signed for himself in an unopened letter he mailed to himself on January 19th, 2021
   13. A case of ketchup put down in 1996 to “mature.”

I am sure more will occur to me in time, but I had to draw a line at some point.

Let the Lists Begin!

Grouchyfarmer started the process, that of listing everything the FBI will find in Trump’s safe/documents.

What The FBI Found In Trump’s Safe

1: Hillary’s emails!!!!
2: Ted Cruz’s balls
3: Lindsey Graham’s spine
4. The first ruble Trump ever earned in a frame and signed “Love, from Vlad”
5. A book titled “101 Ways to Fake Your Golf Score”

I suspect they might also find the location of Jimmy Hoffa’s body, but that will be on my list, which I gotta go write!

Enjoy! And submit your lists!

Humor Will . . .

I have argued that humor will get us through political difficulties. (Think of Mark Twain and Will Rogers as purveyors of truth.) I used to argue that but now I am wondering. It seems that many politicians and voters have become humorless. Maybe they are just emulating their clergy.

So, Question—Why is Texas called the Lone Star State? Answer—Because the rating agency didn’t allow zero star ratings.

Now that’s funny right there . . . Git ‘er done!