Uncommon Sense

August 11, 2022

Filed under: humor,Politics — Steve Ruis @ 10:46 am
Tags: ,

What The FBI Found In Trump’s Safe/Home

Many of you have submitted things on your list, so here is mine. S

  1. the location of Jimmy Hoffa’s body
    2. Trump’s little black book, listing all of the pussies he has grabbed
    3. A baggie containing 10g of cocaine (that explains a lot)
    4. a copy of Obama’s actual birth certificate
    5. a copy of a book “The Fifth Amendment is Your Friend,” recently read
    6. the secret recipe for Coca-Cola so that if they go out of business, he can get it made (Diet version, of course).
    7. X-rays of his heel spurs, annotated with another person’s name
    8. Boxes of his Trump brand ties he “put away” in case they ever became popular
    9. the first dollar he ever cheated anyone out of
    10. A set of posters of Hitler rallies from the 1930s with Trump’s head photoshopped over Hitler’s head, sent to him as gifts.
    11. Copies of nondisclosure agreements with dozens of women describing payments to porn stars for sex, and settlement payments to Trump staff and contractors for sexual harassment
    12. A presidential pardon filled out and signed for himself in an unopened letter he mailed to himself on January 19th, 2021
    13. A case of ketchup put down in 1996 to “mature.”

I am sure more will occur to me in time, but I had to draw a line at some point.

15 Comments »

  1. Your insights amaze me!

    Liked by 2 people

    Comment by Nan — August 11, 2022 @ 10:57 am | Reply

  2. LOL! This is a brilliant list. Thanks for the laugh. It was much needed. 👏🏻 😆

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Colleen Chesebro: WordCraftPoetry — August 11, 2022 @ 11:17 am | Reply

  3. Lol

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Gail Murdock — August 11, 2022 @ 12:11 pm | Reply

  4. The self-pardon is spot on.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by john zande — August 11, 2022 @ 3:02 pm | Reply

    • I wonder if such a thing would hold up in court. I suspect he would need witnesses, and my guess is a few thousand people will claim to have witnessed his signature.

      Like

      Comment by Steve Ruis — August 11, 2022 @ 9:56 pm | Reply

  5. 1. Valentines from Vlad and Kim Jong-un.
    2. Melania’s strap on
    3. A 10 count box of McNuggets he was saving for later
    4. A box of crayons
    5. A reciept for his lifetime subscription to the National Enquirer
    6. A very long list of all the people scratched from his incoming calls list
    7. Three power rangers rings
    8. An envelope with $1.79 cents in it. The envelope is inscribed crudely, in crayon, “the furst lunch munny I stoal from a kid at skool.”
    9. A box of matches. Presumably for burning documents in the fireplace
    10. One of these:

    https://www.childtherapytoys.com/products/gold-kings-crown?msclkid=7dca1ef48d321d77dffc7c02cabf904a

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by shelldigger — August 12, 2022 @ 7:30 am | Reply

    • Excellent!

      Like

      Comment by Steve Ruis — August 12, 2022 @ 9:01 am | Reply

    • HAHAHA! I was expecting a blowup doll at the link!

      GREAT list! (Do you have inside connections???)

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by Nan — August 12, 2022 @ 9:47 am | Reply

      • Most of my inside connections need to be looked at by a Dr. 😉

        A sex doll crossed my mind, but I already had a sex related item on the list. Adding another would have said more about me than the orange turd. I have enough problems already. 🙂

        Friend of mine sent me a meme where the feds were carrying a box, someone photoshopped it to look like a box that a penis pump came in. So many ways to have fun with this!

        Liked by 2 people

        Comment by shelldigger — August 12, 2022 @ 6:46 pm | Reply

        • The bastard showed once again that he doesn’t care about anyone but himself, throwing FBI agents, the DOJ, etc. under the bus with made up fantasies. And his followers just repeat what he claims, like the FBI planted the evidence–how the heck would the FBI get documents that aren’t supposed to leave sealed rooms to plant in the first place? They don’t ask such questions. They also don’t ask why the FBI would have it in for Mafia Don. Sad.

          Liked by 1 person

          Comment by Steve Ruis — August 13, 2022 @ 9:11 am | Reply

          • (Best read in Shaggy’s voice)

            “It’s a deep state conspiracy man! The deep state is working with the feds, the lizard people, and George Soros, to set up our dear leader! They like can’t stand it because DT is so smart, so bigly, and so still our president. Like wow man.”

            Not even Scooby Doo can fix this one. It’s almost comical, how far the right wing b.s. machine, and the GOP will go with this masquerade.

            It would almost be comical if we were living in a sit com. But last time I looked, we aint.

            Liked by 2 people

            Comment by shelldigger — August 13, 2022 @ 6:19 pm | Reply

            • I think the “news people” are getting braver and soon, I hope, they will take such claims and run with them as you have done. Make the claimers repudiate their ridiculous claims or better, repudiate links to QAnon, etc.

              Like

              Comment by Steve Ruis — August 14, 2022 @ 1:56 pm | Reply

              • This path of action should have been taken on day one. Not for one second should anything on far right media, or from the GOP mouthpieces, be given a single moment of legitimacy.

                Liked by 1 person

                Comment by shelldigger — August 14, 2022 @ 5:39 pm | Reply


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