John Zande over at the Superstitious Naked Ape Blog (check him out at thesuperstitiousnakedape.wordpress.com) keeps egging me on as to satisfying the desires of the Intelligent Design crowd. (IDers are anti-evolutionary biblical creationists in new clothing.) My idea was to just give them what they want, that is to teach the biblical creation story as if it were science. John asks (I paraphrase) “Just what would a science textbook which based all of biology, geology, astronomy, geography, etc. on the Christian Bible look like?”
Having written a textbook I have some expertise in this so I decided to start with the easier part . . . the answer book, you know, the book that has all of the answers to the end-of-chapter questions in the textbook. After much sweat and deliberation plus a thorough review process (insisted upon by my very tough editor) here is what I came up with.
Creationist’s Curriculum Answer Book
Biology
Chapter 1
1. God did it.
2. God did it.
3. God did it.
4. God did it.
5. God did it.
Chapter 2
1. God did it.
2. God did it.
3. God did it.
4. God did it.
5. God did it.
6. God did it.
Chapter 3
1. God did it.
2. God did it.
3. God did it.
Geology
Chapter 1
1. God did it.
2. God did it.
3. God did it.
4. God did it.
Chapter 2
1. God did it.
2. God did it.
3. God did it.
4. God did it.
5. God did it.
6. God did it.
7. God did it.
Astronomy
Chapter 1
1. God did it.
2. God did it.
3. God did it.
4. God did it.
5. God did it.
6. God did it.
7. God did it.
8. God did it.
Chapter 2
1. God did it.
2. God did it.
3. God did it.
4. God did it.
This, of course, is just an excerpt as there isn’t room to print the entire book. Look for the textbook (coming soon).
Comment by john zande — January 9, 2013 @ 8:40 am |
The Devil made me do it!
Comment by stephenpruis — January 9, 2013 @ 8:44 am |
That dastardly son of a bitch! Reminds me of a post i used to use over at Fox:
Where science begins for Conservatives: God did it.
Where science ends for Conservatives: God did it.
Comment by john zande — January 9, 2013 @ 8:48 am |
This make for pretty easy crib notes.
Comment by Tomato Addict — January 9, 2013 @ 8:26 pm |
Just think of the exams! ;o)
Comment by stephenpruis — January 10, 2013 @ 7:31 am |
Question #1: 2+2=5 because ? (State the answer clearly in your own words. Use the back of this page if necessary).
Question #2: Humans and bananas share 50% of thier DNA because ___ ___ __ . (Fill in the blanks).
Question #3: Did God do it? TRUE TRUE (circle one)
Comment by Tomato Addict — January 10, 2013 @ 10:02 am |
Oh, dear, now I have gone and done it–unleashed the creative juices of untold numbers! ;o)
Comment by stephenpruis — January 10, 2013 @ 10:12 am |
Glad to be of service!
Comment by Tomato Addict — January 10, 2013 @ 10:13 am |